Wednesday, March 1, 2017:
Forget PokerStars and Amaya, that’s soooo 2000’s. The new big stakes game in online poker hits the street tomorrow with
After nine trips around the table and $2.65 billion in the pot, it’s time to raise the stakes. The Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan, et al. investment bankers sitting at the table, hands sweaty with excitement begin to look for new players to join the game. We gotta take this game on the road and find some pigeons!
The pace of the game slows as the search for new players kicks off with the “road show”. London, New York…the dealer keeps asking
“Who are these guys and why are they asking these questions about Snap’s
Ok, let’s cut to the chase, our dealer and his buddy Bobby get your money and keep control of their business as well…nothing to share here.
The bankers calm everyone’s nerves…
“Everyone relax, we’re off to a slow start but just wait until we hit the west coast, they’ll love ya and just to make sure we’ve signed up with Twitch so that millions of players can watch the game”.
Monday and Tuesday go like clockwork and by Wednesday numerous news sources are saying that the deal is “multiple times oversubscribed” Tough decisions to make,
Tomorrow’s the big day, the bankers want to make sure that we don’t price too high or we won’t get the big first-day bump. Gotta make money for our IPO investors because they pay for our place in the Hamptons and besides, the Company shouldn’t consider the IPO being priced below market, it’s really just the cost of publicity.
The Cristal is on ice, Evan and Bobby get their Cheshire Cat emojis ready to snap when he rings the bell. The new “Investors” who subscribed for shares may have been cut back on their allotment but nonetheless, their traders have their twitchy fingers on the sell key. The bell rings, shares trade hands at a frenzied pace and ever rising price. The “investors” are having a great day…early players at the table reach into the pot and take back their money and lots more. The dealer smiles and fills his pocket, still wondering if this is all a dream. Miranda assures him it’s not, “we’re just playing our part to help make America again”.
Over the next couple of weeks Snap’s share price peaks and then begins a slow descent as the first day buyers begin to understand that they didn’t pay for ownership in Snap, only the chance to ride a roller coaster held together with funky glasses, a product that really isn’t that special and a burn rate that sucks, not to mention the lack of a business model or any visibility to profitability. Not to worry, Snap will figure out a way to monetize all of those kids…we can push them advertising for sugary
Oh well, there always a chance to win big when WeWork does an IPO. Surely there are great prospects for that company with long term fixed liabilities matched by short term contracts signed by a young transient workforce.
Can anyone say Regus, vintage 2003?